I went to the doctor today. I do have a mild case of Marfan Syndrome (but don’t fret too soon…it’s highly unlikely that I will die from it) but I did test negative for RA and Lupus.

On the other hand, I do have fibromyalgia. Pretty much, my brain tells me to be in pain even though there’s nothing wrong with that particular body part. I may have it all my life or I may go into remission during certain periods of time. There is no treatment and there is no cure, so pretty much I’m screwed.

I don’t know what to feel about it honestly, but at least my trip to St. John’s School of Law got my mind off of it for a while.

So, I have Marfan Syndrome. It isn’t dangerous at all, basically it means that my connective tissue is weak, thus causing me to be tall, thin, and flexible. My brother has it too. Ha, as a side note, my doctor is Dracula. He is old with slick black hair, pronounced canines, and an Eastern European accent. The weirdest part was being almost-naked, having all my bones poked and prodded at. I have to go back on Thursday to get my results. And that damn nurse from Quest in Rye Brook missed twice trying to draw out blood.

I got a B+ on my American Places I midterm. Hooray for me.

I wonder if I hurt my ovary again. Seriously, last night, I thought I was going to die. There was a period of time where I was in such absolute and utter pain that I actually couldn’t speak or move. If I have to go to the Emergency Room one more time, I will scream. Let’s see: I can hydrate myself and rest without paying $75 a pop and risking being labelled “uninsurable”. I think I may have popped a cyst because it was about two inches below and one inch to the right of my navel. That would be the approximate area, right? It’s not my kidneys (too high) or my bladder (too low), so what would it be?

I could really go for some wine right about now. Maybe with a Brie and Bacon sandiwch.

I hope Rich does well on Saturday and Thursday. He’s going to be such a good lawyer; I know it. Either way, I’ll be proud of him. I’m so happy to have him, and when I get to introduce him to others as “the f word”, I get so giddy. I’ll love him for ever, I swear it.

My dad is now a member of the Our Lady of Mt. Carmel Society. Like that doesn’t put me in a totally cultural crisis.

As a side note, please pray for Father Andy (my local pastor). He has prostate cancer.

This library is so depressing. At least two familar faces walked by, E and the Cute Girl. E was on a mission, and the Cute Girl is with a study group.

“And she slurs, ‘no no, just one more’, and one turns in to four. And the fourth drink instict is taking over and the gentleman is leading her towards the door…”

I finished my History of Mexico paper. Now it’s all smooth sailing for now.

You won’t believe it, but I wrote a three page post last night and accidentally deleted it. It was really good too. Damn.

Well, right now, I am supposed to be in class, but that didn’t go as planned. We needed RealVideo to play a documentary and unfortunately the *looks around the library* ipotent IT department refuses to download RealVideo because “it’s only used for porn”. And you see half the class look around and whisper “yeah, we have never used QuickTime to get porn. Never.” So we were dismissed. I need to make up my midterm ASAP.

I got my math exam back today. I got an 84!!!!! *happy dance* Oh, that reminds me, I need to look up the homework before I go. I have a lot to do tonight.

The hot apple cider in Benzinger was really good today. I want more.

Okay, I’m off to get some tea before my History of Mexico class.

12:00 a.m.-5:30 a.m., Fri. 19 Oct 2007 –> Wake up with excruciating pain. Go to White Plains Hospital Center (WPHC) with Richard. Mum and dad come to see me. Get called in. Get urinalysis, bloodwork, more urinalysis, CT scan, saline/Levaquin/codine drip. I have a mild infection. Am perscribed Levaquin oral and Motrin 600mg. Go home.

6:00-9:30 a.m., Fri. 19 Oct 2007 –> Eat Vienna Wafers and Yoo-Hoo (in a glass bottle!) out of the vending machine. Sleep. Pain still present.

9:30-10:00 a.m., Fri. 19 Oct 2007 –> Recieve a call from mum saying that Dr. Bregman (an ER doctor) saw that the results from yesterday are inconclusive and appendicits may be present. Call Dr. Bregman, am asked to come in for a new CT scan with contrast.

10:30 a.m.-5:30 p.m., Fri. 19 Oct 2007 –> Go back to WPHC with Richard. Meet dad there. Go into ER and are forced to drink two pints of Barium Sulfate in mixed berry. I chug a dixie cup full and proceed to go into the bathroom to vomit. I am given a saline/Zofran IV, a urinalysis, and a CBC. Two hours later, the Barium Sulfate is gone and I await a CT scan. Go for CT scan. Results show that appendicitis is not present, but instead a large cyst rupture on my ovary. Am later released.

6:00 p.m.-9:30 p.m., Fri. 19 Oct 2007 –> Go home, do laundry, eat dinner, call the parents, pack, and sleep.

20 Oct. 2007 – Go to the parents’ house by 8:00 a.m., eat breakfast, drive to Franklin, eat lunch, go to Sharon Springs to see the Hotel Adler (which is victim to treasure hunters), Imperial Baths (they had the sulphur and magnesium faucets running and people were drinking out of them), and do some shopping. Go back. Read. Eat dinner. Go to Cooperstown for the Halloween Event at the Farmhouse Museum. Come back. Eat dinner. Sleep.

21 Oct. 2007 –> Get up. Eat breakfast. Shower. Pack. Drive home (sleep). Dinner. Back to Mville. Homework. Call parents. Homework. Blogging.

Yeah, life is eventful under me. As a side note, Apple Cider from Sharon Springs is really good because of its high sulphur content.

Hahaha….best thing ever.

 I’m sitting in the library with Rich, griping about my test grades. Rich smells like Philly Cheesesteak, which reminds me of the first time we kissed. Anyways, this girl just gets up, screams to a guy (whom I later found out she wasn’t even dating) and says a string of things ending with a loud “FUCK YOU AND YOUR DOUBLE STANDARDS!!!” Way to bring an entire group of studyers together to talk about shit.

And I thought I was wearing my own ovaries on the outside.

 On a (majorly) sadder note, they are shutting down Letchworth Village. I know that doesn’t mean a lot to you, but it’s the only abandoned asylum in my area. They are turning it into, you guessed it, high-volume housing. Not that I protest high-volume housing, but it really is a beautiful piece of history. Carl Solomon stayed there for quite some time, and it was lobotomy and ECT centeral. It makes me wonder why we didn’t follow Long Island’s method of turning abandoned crap into parkland for kids to get high in. Oh well, I still have Pilgrim (kinda cool), King’s Park (majorly cool), and Old Main at Utica State (majorly majorly orgasmically I might have an orgasm talking about it unlike most of their patients in 1836 cool). My goal is to: a) get into Old Main and photograph it before they destroy it; and b) get into Building 93 of King’s Park and make it to the top floor (you can clearly see CT and MA from there) without crashing through all 12 floors, getting arrested, or being attacked by some of the “left-behinds” that are still roaming (I kid you not, it’s only been on the market ten years and there are several police reports of this…especially in buildings 105-106 [medical/surgical] which are still in perfect condition). Definitely a daytime, maybe winter project for those short Long Island days.

Anyways, I am off to read important stuff and gripe about Letchworth. Or maybe to read Poe and look at Kirkbride architecture.

It seems that everyone has somehow forgotten about me since my several extended leaves of absence. This is because: a) I have no internet in my dormitory due to a broken port on the boyfriend’s Mac; b) I have been spending more time in the gym than blogging; c) I have not had a single free weekend to myself since, um, Labor Day weekend; d) I am overloaded with work; e)  I am going through a MAJOR life change; or f) All of the above. Which one? You guessed it: f!!! F as in “Fucking work”.

Yeah. So I am really busy. So cut me a break, and I do promise that I usually take five minutes out of the day to read your blogs.

I’m watching Save the Last Dance and yes, I know it’s cheesy, but it was my life. For thirteen years, being in front of the stage was my life. The pointe shoes, the costumes, the makeup. It was a love affair I didn’t get when I was five, but I couldn’t live without when I was eighteen. I grew up in the world of The Dance Workshop, and I never was unfaithful to it. I stuck with it from my first dance and my first costume (“My Heart Belongs to Daddy” in a red sequin spaghetti-strap leotard with lace trim and a lace bow on the butt) to my last dance and my last costume (“Mein Herr” in spandex shorts and a midriff, velvet top). Actually, the last recital was dedicated to me. Me, with the best bourees and the worst case of timing and clumsiness you’ve ever seen. God, how I miss it.

I want to go back so badly, but right now I need my cash for other things, like rent, health insurance, money for college, and whatever else comes ahead. It’ll be a couple of years before I learn. I figure that if I go back, I want to learn hip-hop, since I never got to learn that. It’ll be good if I go live in Boston or New York.

Okay, back to crying about ballet…

So, get this, my doctor recently switched me to YAZ (you know, that new wonder drug that everyone says is amazing?). And I was skeptical at first because I had taken Yasmin two years ago and went psycho on it. I mean, like absolutely paranoid to the point I was considering committing myself as a schizophrenic, but she goes “oh, YAZ has no relation to Yasmin whatsoever.” Which it doesn’t, on a technical level. Yeah, okay.
So anyway, I took YAZ three weeks ago and it has thus been the worst possile three weeks of my life. All I do is cry hystericallly and yell at people. I’ve become depressed to the point where I don’t want to get up in the morning, eat, or go to class. It’s been Hell, and it keeps getting worse. This isn’t like my normal behavior at all.
So, at first, I went on the YAZ website and read the consumer packets that come with the pills. All the packets keep saying that symptoms I am experiencing (such as depression, fatigue, anxiety, mood swings, irregular vaginal bleeding, inability to heal after infection, etc.) happen in >1% of those tested. Bullshit.
Yesterday, I went on the FDA’s website and some other sites written by patients themselves and I found out that YAZ is THE EXACT SAME DRUG as Yasmin. They had to pull Yasmin off the market because it literally made people suicidal to the point they acted on it. So what the makers of Yasmin did was change the package, change the parent corporation, change the coloring, and keep the same exact level of the active ingredient (the entirely synthetic hormone dsrp). I hate to say it, but I highly doubt that changing the pill coloring from yellow to pink will stop people from being depressed.
I then went on to read patient reviews of the drug. The majority (I read well over 100 reviews on several forums and sites) said the same things:
- “makes me feel like I want to kill myself”
- “my boyfriend continually asks ‘what’s wrong? you were fine a minute ago’”
- “I’ve never felt depressed a day in my life; that is, until I took YAZ”
- “It is great birth control, that is, because it entirely wrecks your sex drive”

Yeah? I mean, I highly doubt that out of all the people in the control group for the drug company (which I believe is Glaxo-Smith-Kline) only >1% felt that way. I also read that it is worse for those with a low BMI.
And the sad part is, the FDA approved it because GSK is the one doing the lab tests. I blame the Regan administration for that. Apparently miliraty spending is more important than the welfare of others.

I have currently thrown out the last week of my perscription and I have no desire to take any more forms of the Pill for a long long long time. I can live with using condoms if need be. At least it will save your relationships with others.

Mainly for me:

- Find out about writing assignment for AMS
- AMS writing assignment
- HIS writing assignment
- ENC writing assignment
- HIS bibliography
- Read The Crucible
- Finish Salem Possessed
- MATH Derive Assignmnet
- Catch up on ENC readings
- Plan talk for tomorrow (damnit where’s my purse???????)
- Mail in rebate
- Take exam