Okay, so WebMd has rattled my brain again in unspeakable ways. This woman wrote an article called “8 Things No One Tells You About Marriage”. And I agree with some of them: You Can Only Change Yourself, You May Go to Bed Angry, etc. But really, now I have some pet peeves with this.

#4 – You Will Go Without Sex, Sometimes for a Long Time…

Alright, now fine, I’ve heard that sex totally dies during marriage, but a lot of me believes that it’s not true. Sure, sex may die for a short period of time (i.e. the first six months after childbirth) but I doubt it dies completely. And in my heart of hearts, I don’t think it has to die. Usually here’s what happens: man and woman first start dating, marriage  happens, explosive honeymoon, woman finds herself pregnant (and yes, that means no vaginal sex for about five months, boys!), baby comes home and sucks up all of mumsie’s attention, man craves sex, woman says “no”, man says “what about doing this that I found out of unnamed men’s book/magazine/television show?”, woman replies with “no, that’s gross”, man rolls over unhappy (poor man). Eighteen years later, here’s how the scenario plays out: woman tackles man, man tries to get it up, man fails, woman looks on with dissapointment, man says “can I do Item X that I found under the ‘How to Please a Woman’ section of my unamed men’s book/magazine/television show?”, woman replies “whatever”, both roll over unhappy.

I don’t think there really needs to be a lack of sex in a relationship. In a recent WebMd poll, 36% of women have sex with their signifigant others less than twice a month, 22% of women have it weekly, and 42% of women have it more than twice a week. That’s a large amount of time for the 36% to be abstinent. And we wonder why infidelity is so high.

Americans (and most Westerners) tend to have very Victorian outlooks on sex. Most circumsiscions in the United States are unnessecary. There is no proof that circumscision prevents infection whatsoever (unless the area between the glans and the foreskin has been unwashed), and actually that was not the main reason for circumscision. The main reason was to prevent masturbation in boys. And we still follow that method? Guys, these were the same people that hosed women down to prevent them from becoming hysterical, yet banned the speculum due to its phallic nature. Really. Anywho, back to the point. Try new stuff. Talk about sex. So you won’t be a #4.

#1 – You will look at the person next to you and wonder: is this it? Forever?

Now, you might think that this section was about insecurities. Ha, I did too. No it’s about how you may find that you are not entirely happy with the one you’re with. His penis is too small. He never takes out the trash. He is a good for nothing, sonofabitch mindfuck who watches ESPN 20 hours a day. Now I doubt that any of that is true. But Ylonda Gault Caviness (whom I believe is a totally made-up author) believes so, although she later notes that “a lifetime of experience has taught me that I am right about most things”. I’ve dated a lawyer for the past eight months, and even he doesn’t have the nerve (or stupidity) to publish a statement like that.

And yeah, maybe your marriage isn’t perfect. Maybe he does work too much. Maybe he does spend too much time on eBay buying fire truck parts (sorry dad, I had to call you out for that). But I highly doubt that you’re perfect either. Everyone has their few flaws, but compromising about them is part of marriage. A large part of marriage.

That’s the problem with people these days: they expect perfect. I come from a family where marriage isn’t something perfect. Both my grandmothers eloped, but they are still in love with the men they married. Yeah, my parents have seen the roughest of roughest times, but they are still happy (although guys: really, we don’t have walls. Remember that). There have been few divorces in my family, and those that happened were for reasons far beyond “irreconcilable differences”. Maybe if we stopped expecting perfect, we would be richer for the experience.

So, get this, my doctor recently switched me to YAZ (you know, that new wonder drug that everyone says is amazing?). And I was skeptical at first because I had taken Yasmin two years ago and went psycho on it. I mean, like absolutely paranoid to the point I was considering committing myself as a schizophrenic, but she goes “oh, YAZ has no relation to Yasmin whatsoever.” Which it doesn’t, on a technical level. Yeah, okay.
So anyway, I took YAZ three weeks ago and it has thus been the worst possile three weeks of my life. All I do is cry hystericallly and yell at people. I’ve become depressed to the point where I don’t want to get up in the morning, eat, or go to class. It’s been Hell, and it keeps getting worse. This isn’t like my normal behavior at all.
So, at first, I went on the YAZ website and read the consumer packets that come with the pills. All the packets keep saying that symptoms I am experiencing (such as depression, fatigue, anxiety, mood swings, irregular vaginal bleeding, inability to heal after infection, etc.) happen in >1% of those tested. Bullshit.
Yesterday, I went on the FDA’s website and some other sites written by patients themselves and I found out that YAZ is THE EXACT SAME DRUG as Yasmin. They had to pull Yasmin off the market because it literally made people suicidal to the point they acted on it. So what the makers of Yasmin did was change the package, change the parent corporation, change the coloring, and keep the same exact level of the active ingredient (the entirely synthetic hormone dsrp). I hate to say it, but I highly doubt that changing the pill coloring from yellow to pink will stop people from being depressed.
I then went on to read patient reviews of the drug. The majority (I read well over 100 reviews on several forums and sites) said the same things:
- “makes me feel like I want to kill myself”
- “my boyfriend continually asks ‘what’s wrong? you were fine a minute ago’”
- “I’ve never felt depressed a day in my life; that is, until I took YAZ”
- “It is great birth control, that is, because it entirely wrecks your sex drive”

Yeah? I mean, I highly doubt that out of all the people in the control group for the drug company (which I believe is Glaxo-Smith-Kline) only >1% felt that way. I also read that it is worse for those with a low BMI.
And the sad part is, the FDA approved it because GSK is the one doing the lab tests. I blame the Regan administration for that. Apparently miliraty spending is more important than the welfare of others.

I have currently thrown out the last week of my perscription and I have no desire to take any more forms of the Pill for a long long long time. I can live with using condoms if need be. At least it will save your relationships with others.

It’s a policy of mine never to read my reviews!

 Now if you check out the comments, there are all these kids who are like “ohmygawd, this is all about George W. Bush!” Of course, these are probably the same kiddies who make outrageous statements like “Bush eats babies!” instead of saying “Bush’s foreign policy in Iraq is a direct violation of the Geneva convention.” Really, which one sounds more educated? You see where I’m going?

Anywho, I have had several educators preach to me about how “Nowhere Man” is based of T.S. Eliot’s The Hollow Men. See for yourself:

This is the way the world ends

See the similarities? If you really want, check out T.S. Eliot’s The Wasteland, found here. Once again, there are parallells with The Beatles. I hate to break it to people (again), but not every song ever written in the sixties was about war or LSD. I seriously feel like the people who think that the sixties was this magical new thing also think “Lucy in the Sky with Diamonds” is about LSD. Do some research, and get your facts straight.

I don’t know, I have issuse with people misinterpreting things. For example, my freshman (high school) English teacher, Ms. Chambers (now Ms. DiFabio), was telling us about a bridal shop she went to. In the bridal shop, there was a silver plated cake topper. Of King Arthur and Guinevere. If you don’t know, Guinevere, married to the much older King Arthur, slept around with Lancelot (Arthur’s right hand man) on the side. So nice to have at a wedding. It’s also like the people who have “I Will Always Love You” as their song. Before the fabulous disaster Whitney Houston traunced that song, it was originally composed by Dolly Parton as she split from Porter Wagoner in 1973. Look at the lyrics: “If I could stay/I’d only be in your way…” Yeah, forget the warbling chorus and take five minutes to look at the lyrics.

I think people sometimes oversee things. Yeah, the lyrics are nice; there are pretty pictures, flying unicorns, etc. But take five minutes to analyze the true meanings before preaching your theroms on it.